Today I will enter the office to tell the woman who writes about women to publish that article about how we
celebrate women around here. I
celebrate women, because I find that I can always make them do favors like that for me. Actually, I find that I can make her do all kinds of favors, if you know what I mean! (it’s between us higher ups). I
celebrate women because, look at the way they are shattering glass ceilings! We empower women here. Never mind that the glass rains on them. It’s a shame the shattered glass leaves scars, I think that I will write a statement about how much I regret that that happens here because I
celebrate women for the relentless warriors that they are who will go to the end of the earth to serve others. Women are just naturally more benevolent than men. I
celebrate women, because she is so committed to serving — I don’t see what she needs to do in order to make a life for herself, to protect herself. Oh! You’re fleeing an abusive spouse? A homophobic family? See? When we empower women, we can keep her off the streets and she might even detain other women for us! I
celebrate women because I celebrate their commitment to make the city more money. Yes, I get that it’s off the backs of poor women; her heart freezes, then her wheels, then she’s pulled off her track. I thought women officers would help the community feel more safe? Anyways! I
celebrate women, because they are even hosting white empowerment podcasts! Making it easier for me, boy, I thought that I had to do this alone, but I am grateful for when women play as team players, so I
celebrate women because they do all of this, what these femini-nazis and angry for no reason black women call “emotional labor”. I do not want to do THAT in this movement work; give me the academic life, the pulpit, the executive status! the glory is more important to me than anything else which is why I
celebrate women because they don’t do it for the money right? They naturally care about other women and kids, Or at least that is what I tell myself so I can keep underpaying them I
celebrate women because they do two-thirds of the world’s work, even though they are half of the population. Women work so damn hard! So I
celebrate women so that I can help make everyone forget that institutions, organizations and churches like my own wringe women dry daily for a higher purpose.
I think this is a cause for celebration, don’t you think? GOSH, I love to call it “celebrating”!
So today, on international women’s day, I
celebrate women and to that I raise a glass see? and I say:
Thank GOD for women!