In my 25 years of living and in the year 2018 I have found that
now, in our world, beauty means
hiding from people that your family didn’t love you well
hiding that your family growing up isn’t kind, a safe place and put together
hiding that things in your family have still not gotten much better
and hiding that this pain has shaped a part of your brain and body.
Now, in our world, beauty means
not being dark
not being sad
not struggling with confidence
or having to be reassured.
In our world beauty means
not telling the truth of how everything is hurting
and not telling how you feel about those who perpetuate the hurt.
It means to be silent about your pain
and your questions.
Beauty means you must always be smiling
You must never show fear
never show doubt
and hope for help.
In our world, beauty is confidence
and not having to consider that the world gives you this thing called “confidence”.
(What is confidence, now, in this world, except being affirmed by the powers that be?
In our world, beauty means
that those who are ugly,
those who are dark,
must find their significance elsewhere
in another world
in order to survive.
My hope: in order to survive the world
where being ugly
and being dark
is not desired
we must find our desire for another place
where being ugly is magnificent,
is nothing to fear.
Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.